As Atilla the Hun would prepare and ride into battle, out numbered most of the time, he never gave up.  His perseverance and determination is what made him a fierce leader.  Never giving up is something we as cancer patients can all aspire to.

As I sat down to write this blog, I took some time looking back through the medical journal page.  Looking back gives me very good insight on the road traveled and allows me to better prepare for the road ahead.  Reflection gives me positive energy.  This post is all about preparing for what lies ahead.  I hope this will inspire other people to find their positive inner self.

A quick background to where I am both mentally and physically.  When I entered into this cancer journey I was a relatively fit person.  Yes, I could stand to loose a few extra pounds, but I was always a very active individual.  Exercise is something that I have done my entire life.  I am sure thankful that was the case.  I do believe that the physical condition, as well as the mental determination acquired from training, carried me a long way on this road.  I was able to endure the chemotherapy in 2016 as well as recover from multiple liver surgeries.  2017 became the biggest challenge.  Filled with more chemotherapy and surgery.  Toxicity in the body and hepatotoxicity to the liver were taking a toll.  Depleting my body of strength at a very rapid pace.  As my physical levels depleted so did my state of mind.  I always tried to stay positive, however it became increasingly more difficult by the day.

I knew I was fading away and could not stop it.  Being confined to bed and the only ability to move came with the assistance of a walker was taking its toll.  I would spend 50% + of my time in bed.

With the lack of activity and the medicine I was taking, I also gained a lot of weight.  This certainly did not help matters either.  In August of 2017 when my disease progressed, my physical condition became a factor in determining the next course of action.  Although it was not the deciding factor, it certainly was a concern and point of many discussions with the surgical team and oncology team.  They impressed upon me the importance of losing the weight and exercising to get my body back to a level where I can fight this battle again.  I have always kept track of my ECOG status (see chart below) as I understand how important this is and the decisions that are made based upon this status.

FITNESS FOR LIFE!

With a new year beginning comes new goals, focus and determination.  My ECOG status was at a Grade 3 and now a Grade 0.  I could not be happier!  As of March, 2018 I have been able to loose 32 lbs., my goal is 12 more.  I will get there and beyond.  My strength has more than doubled as well as my endurance.   I feel better than I have in many years.  Mentally, I feel like an entirely different person.  I think my family and friends would agree with that.

Cancer has taken so much from me mentally and physically.  NO MORE!  I AM IN CONTROL OF THIS BUS!  Sure, someday the cancer will win, Not Today, Not Now.

As I look back here is what I have learned.  I need to try to the best of my ability to maintain fitness into my lifestyle no matter what.  That includes exercising while on chemotherapy.  I wish I would have done this before.  The physical and mental attributes are so needed.  Being diagnosed with cancer and having to undergo all the various treatments are very depressing at times.Although I may not be able to control the outcome, I can take over the control they have on me.  Exercise does this for me.  Having a positive attitude has to start from within.  We are all faced with negative forces on a daily basis.  Trials of life.  But if we can find our inner peace and channel this into positive energy, I think we are all better in the long run.

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind!  Get off the couch, get out of your comfort zone and take a chance.  Take a chance on yourself.  Get out there and make a difference for yourself.  Don’t rely on others to do it for you, you will be disappointed.

To coin a phrase from my friend Tom,

“To Life”!!!